Can't fight this feeling
by kelli99
Summary: A series of one shots about Dean and Jo.
1. Heaven

This story is written in a world where Jo was somehow brought back but Ellen is still dead.

Ellen meets her grandson for the first time.

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**Heaven**

It was a sad thing to say but Ellen Harvell rather enjoyed being dead. There were no monsters in heaven; there were no spirits and certainly no demons. Ash, being the genius that he was, had somehow found a way to bring both her and Bill across into his heaven, which funnily enough looked like the roadhouse. Ash came and went as he pleased, sometimes bringing home other old friends who had passed away. Her and Bill spend their days together, just talking, mainly about their daughter Jo. Ellen caught Bill up on everything he had missed. She told him how Jo had grown into such a beautiful young lady, how she was smart but that she had left school because she wanted to be a hunter just like her daddy. Bill's face showed equal parts pride and worry upon hearing that particular piece of news.

The one thing Ellen hated about death was that they never heard any news from earth. It had been several years since her death and Ellen hadn't heard anything about her daughter Jo. Ash ensured her Jo was still alive, he would have heard about her death on his 'angle radio' he had said, but the thing was that Ash's angle radio had been almost silent since the Apocalypse had been averted.

It came as a shock then, when on one slow afternoon, an alarm started flashing on Ash's machine and a high pitched shriek filled the air. Ellen, Bill and Ash all covered their ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise.

"What's going on?" Ellen yelled, as loud as she could in Ash's direction.

Ash, who looked uncharacteristically serious, yelled back, "someone's coming!"

Almost as soon as it started the shrieking sound stopped and Ellen could have sworn she heard a fluttering of wings before there was a loud knock on the door. After a short, tense moment Bill made his way to the door and opened it.

Ellen breathed a sigh of relief as she recognised the trench coat wearing angle on the door step; he was holding hands with a young, terrified looking boy.

"Uh, hello," Bill said, not knowing the angel and clearly unsure of how to great him.

"Castiel!" Ellen smiled warmly. Castiel's face twitched in what Ellen assumed was his attempt at a smile.

"I was asked to bring the boy to you," Castiel said, straight to the point, as he ushered the boy inside.

Ellen's mouth dropped open, "wait, what?" she asked, but typically the angel was already gone.

The boy suddenly burst into tears, startling Bill, who had been staring slack-jawed at the place Castiel had vanished from. Bill shot Ellen a pleading glance; nothing scared him quite like crying children.

Rolling her eyes at her husband Ellen rushed forward pulling the small boy into a hug and gently patting his back.

"Where am I?," he asked. Ellen could feel his little bottom lip shaking against her skin as he tried to control his cries, "I… I want my mummy and daddy!"

Feeling a rush of maternal instinct come over her, Ellen picked up the little sobbing boy and hugged him tightly. "Hey, shush, it will be ok," she cooed, carrying him over to a booth and shooting looks at a reluctant Bill and Ash to follow. Ellen settled into the booth, pulling the boy into her lap. Bill and Ash sat opposite them. Ellen waited for the boy to quieten down before she spoke again.

Gently stoking his short blonde hair she said, "my name's Ellen, what's yours?"

"W…William," he said his voice still thick with tears, "some people call me Bill but mummy and daddy always say Will".

"Oh that's nice Will. My husband is called William too, but people call him Bill, and that idiot other there, that's Ashlee but will all call him Ash".

Will looked at Bill and Ash with interest, his tears stopping for the meantime. "That's my name too! My full name is William Ashlee, mummy named me after her family and daddy named my brother after his!"

"Really?" Bill asked seeming amused by Will's sudden change in attitude.

"Aha," Will nodded enthusiastically, "Mummy's family are all died but daddy sayed that they were super cool. He said uncle Ash, who I am named after, is super smart and could find all kind of thing on the computer, he also said he would tell me some funny stories about him but mummy said no. Daddy also sayed that mummy's mum is my granddaermaa and she is super scary but really cool, my sister middle name is named after her, her name was Ellen. Daddy never knew my grandda Bill but mummy said he was really brave and fought against monsters just like my mummy and daddy do".

Dead silence followed Will's speech and Ellen knew that they were all putting the facts together just like her. The boy obviously came from a family of hunters. There weren't that many hunters in the world, the chances of another family of hunters with the names Ash, Bill and Ellen were extremely slim, not to mention the familiar blonde hair and the fact that Castiel had brought Will _here_ of all places.

"Will," Ellen said tentatively, "what is your mummy's name?

Will seemed confused by the question, "umm.. Mummy?".

Ellen took a deep breath trying not to take her anxiety out on Will, "what I meant is what do other people, like your dad, call your mum?"

William giggled, "my dad call my mum a lots of names that always gets him in trouble, buts uncle Sammy calls her Jo".

Ellen was so overcome with emotion that she didn't even register the new name Will had mentioned or hear Ash's snort of laughter all she could think about was that she was meeting her grandson for the first time. Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to battle with the conflicting emotions within her. On one hand this little angle was _her grandson_ and he was so beautiful and cute and so much like Jo that she couldn't help but love him already, but on the other hand she wasn't meeting her grandson for the first time at a hospital or the family home, she was meeting him in heaven which meant he was dead and her poor baby daughter had just lost her son. Ellen couldn't begin to know what Jo was going through, if she had lost Jo, and at such a young age- Will couldn't have been older than five, she didn't know what she would have done.

Ellen looked at her husband; he too seemed torn between overwhelming joy and sadness. Ash on the other hand was looking poor Will up and down with amusement.

"What is so funny?" she snapped at Ash fixing him with her best glare. To her, and Bill's, surprise Ash didn't seemed fazed by Ellen's mumma bear look, instead he threw her a smirk before turning towards Will.

"William Ashlee," he said, in what Ellen supposed was his best dramatic voice, "you got a last name buddy?"

Will giggled at Ash's words and the sound warmed Ellen's heart as she waited curiously for an answer. She hadn't paid much mind to the kid's father before, but those green eyes weren't Jo's, they had to have come from somewhere. Hadn't Will said that his dad had known her and he had said she was super scary but really cool?

"Of course I gots a last name," Will replied, "it's Winchester, William Ashlee Winchester".

Ellen and Bill's jaws almost hit the table in shock which only caused Ash to start laughing harder. Will watched the grownups with a bemused look on his face.

Bill was the first to recover, "what!" he yelled, causing Will to jump and cuddle into Ellen, "no!".

"Bill…" Ellen tried.

"No Ellen don't you Bill me, you've told me about those Winchester boys, they're trouble. You told me yourself that Jo almost died hunting with them and now she's married to one of them! Not to mention the fact that their father _shot me_!"

"Bill you're frighting him!" Ellen said motioning towards the boy in her lap, who was starting to tear up again. "And yes that's true, Jo did almost die hunting with the boys, but in the end they saved her. And besides Dean has grown up a lot since then and… wait your father is Dean isn't it?" She asked.

"He said Uncle Sammy before," Ash confirmed when Will didn't answer.

Bill looked as though he regretted frightening Will but still not entirely happy.

"Look Bill," Ellen tried again, "If someone had told me years ago that my daughter was going to marry Dean Winchester I may have shot him to keep it from happening, but I hunted with him a few times the year I died, he was more mature, he took responsibility for his actions and he seemed like he was ready to be done with hunting. Dean isn't his father; you can't blame him for what John did, but if there is one thing they have in common it's how far he'll go for his family. Jo could do much worse than having someone like that protecting her".

"Wait," Will said with wide eyes, "you know mummy and daddy?"

Ellen shifted in her seat, unsure of how to answer, she looked at Bill for advice but he just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really know how to say this sweetheart but I'm your mummy's mother, I'm your grandmother".

Will's brow frowned in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened with fright, he jumped out of the booth so quickly it startled the three adults.

"No, no, no," Will repeated, shaking his head stubbornly, "both my granddaermaa's are dead, you're a demon, you're a demon or a…"

"Shapeshifter?" Ash suggested, earning glares from both Ellen and Bill, "just trying to be helpful," he muttered.

Bill got up and took a few tentative steps towards Will, "ok buddy I know that this hard to understand but…" Bill didn't get a chance to finish his sentence; he was interrupted by Will swiftly kicking him in the shins, which caused Ash to explode in laughter.

"Defiantly my grandbaby," Ellen said with a small smile.

Deciding it was best to act before Will could demonstrate what other moves his parents had taught him against her husband, Ellen stood with her hands up in a surrendering pose. "Will," she said calmly, trying to calm the terrified child, "if your mummy and daddy told you about demons and shapeshifters then you know that they can't touch silver?"

Will nodded meekly. Ellen took a few slow steps towards the bar. Before the Roadhouse had been burnt down Ellen had kept a silver knife hidden under the register. She wasn't entirely positive it would be there in Ash's heaven version of the road house and let out a sigh of relief when her fingered touched the cold handle.

Taking a deep breath Ellen slid the blade across her arm, leaving a trail of blood. "See Will, I'm real, I really am your grandmother".

Will scrunched his little face up in confusion. "But mummy and daddy said you is dead"

Ellen took a deep breath and glanced at her husband for strength. "Will, your parents were telling you the truth, I'm dead. Ash, your grandfather and I all live up here in heaven now… Will if you're here in heaven I think you might be dead too".

Will stared at Ellen for a long moment and then the confusion on his face morphed into sadness. "But… but… I can't be dead. I is four! Only old people die!"

Ellen was quick to scoop her grandbaby into a hug. "I'm sorry sweetie but sometimes young people die too. Do you remember what you were doing before you… before the angel came and got you?"

Will nodded. "It was Christmas but not this Christmas, it was last Christmas again. We were at Uncle Bobby's house and there not enough beds so me and Adam had to share. Then I roll over and Adam felled out. It was really funny."

Ellen smiled fondly. "I think that was one of your memories sweetie. What about before that, what were you doing?"

Will frowned trying to remember. "I was in bed and sad cause Adam and Mary were out with Uncle Sammy but mummy said I had to stay home cause I was sick. Then I start to feel worse so I went to find mummy and daddy. Then everything started to hurt real bad and I fell so I yelled for daddy. Then daddy came and he looked scared and he picked me up and kept saying my name then mummy came and she looked scared too, then I don't remember anything else." Will started to cry as he finished.

"Oww my poor baby!" Ellen hugged Will close to her chest and then carried him to sit with Bill and Ash who had been quite during the exchange.

Ellen rubbed Will's back as he continued to cry. She gently lent against Bill seeking comfort from her husband. When Will's tears started to subside, Ellen asked Will to tell her about his family in an effort to distract him.

"Well there is mummy and daddy and me and Adam and Mary. I'm four and so is Adam. Mary is four. Mum and dad are… old. I'm named after mummy family. Adam's middle name is Robert after uncle Bobby who is daddy'd family. Daddy says that even though I'm named after mummy's family he loves me just as much. Adam can be really annoying and mean but sometimes he is fun. We both play soccer. My little sister is Mary Ellen. Daddy says that me and Adam have to look after Mary cause that's what good big brothers do. Uncle Sammy and Uncle Bobby and Dean are our family too…"

"Wait," Ellen interrupted with a small frown, "Dean?"

"Dean is Uncle Bobby's dog," Will explained.

"Oh" Ellen smiled, _there had to be a story behind that!_

Ash laughed, "bet your dad loved that".

"Daddy said it is because he was so awe..awesome" Will explained seriously.

"Oh, of course, sorry for interrupting you Will".

"It ok grandma Ellen." Ellen almost burst with joy apron hearing her darling baby call her 'grandma'. Will continued with his speech. "We go to uncle Sammy's house lots. Uncle Sammy is good at soccer and he teached me and Adam lots. Sometimes we go and see Uncle Bobby. Uncle Bobby doesn't have grass so we can't play soccer but we play hide and go seek. Once me and mummy hid in one of uncle Bobby's cars and it took daddy and Adam hoooouuuurrrrs to find us.

Ellen smiled as she listened to her grandson talk about his family, yes Ellen Harvell defiantly liked being dead and she had a feeling she he after life was about to get a lot more interesting from now on.

_Earlier that night…_

"Castiel," the broken whisper of a voice that Castiel hadn't heard in a long time, but would still recognise anywhere, sounded in his head. Castiel knew what Dean wanted; he had just heard the terrible news and his heart went out to his oldest and best friend. As much as Castiel wanted to change what had happened he knew he couldn't, he expected Dean knew us much but still felt he had to at least try; either that or he simply needed someone to take his frustrations out on. Either way Castiel owed it to his old friend to at least give an explanation and his condolences.

Castiel had once described Dean as a broken shell of a man, but never before had the term suited him as much as it did now. Dean was pale, his eyes were red and puffy from crying, he looked lost.

"Dean," Castiel said in way of greeting as he materialised in front of his friend.

"Cas," Dean chocked, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

"I'm sorry," Castiel said. He noticed a flicker of anger in Dean's eyes but wasn't surprised, after spending so much time on earth Castiel was better at predicting the way Dean would react in difficult situations.

"You're sorry? Screw sorry! Can't you do something Cas? For God's sake he's only four!," Dean said his voice breaking on the last sentence.

"Dean, if I could do anything I would but the natural order…"

"Natural order! Are you freaking kidding me Cas?" Dean yelled. "Nothing about our family is natural. Jo was ripped apart by hellhounds, Sam was locked in a cage with the devil, Lucifer snapped Bobby's neck, you freaking exploded _twice_, I can't even remember how many times I've died and yet were all still here. When did natural order become so important?"

Castiel took a deep breath, "Dean, do you remember when Sam lost his soul and you made that bet with Death to win it back?"

Dean didn't answer but it was clear from the glare Castiel was receiving that he_ did_ remember.

"Do you remember that girl, the one you refused to kill? She disrupted the natural order, that nurse died and many others would have if you hadn't returned and took the girl. If I was to bring Will back death would follow him forever. You may be prepared to give your life for your sons, but what about Jo's or Adams' or Mary's, are you willing to sacrifice theirs?"

Dean's only reply was a small shake of the head. Cas could see tears starting to fall from his friend's eyes. Although he was still uncomfortable with human emotions Cas moved closer to Dean and wrapped his arms around him, trying to comfort in a way he had seen Dean do for Sam. He was surprised when Dean didn't pull away.

"Dean, if there was anything I could do…"

"There is," Dean interrupted the angel. He pulled himself away from Cas trying to inconspicuously dry his eyes, Cas pretended not to notice. "I remember, after Sam and I were shot, when we were in heaven. It was so confusing to begin with, I had no idea what was happening. Can you… can you help Will? Take him to Ellen, we told Ash that Ellen was dead so Ash probably found her and brought her to the roadhouse in his heaven. Ellen… she'll help Will."

Castiel considered this for a moment. "You don't want to give him the chance to relive his favourite memories?" he asked.

"No, I do," Dean said, his voice becoming choked again, "just, I want him to understand what's going on first". Cas nodded in understanding. "Cas, can you, can you do me one more thing?" Castiel hesitated before nodding. "Can you tell Will I love him, me and his mum, we love him… so much". Dean said breaking into sobs.

This time Cas didn't hesitate pulling Dean into a hug, "I will tell him, you have my word," he promised.

The pair stood in silence for a few minutes while Dean tried to control his sobs. Suddenly a thought accrued to Castiel and he pulled away from Dean with a serious look on his face. "Dean I need you to promise me something," he said.

Dean looked up wiping furiously at the tears running down his face, "what?"

"I need you to promise me you won't go off and find a demon to sell your soul to in exchange for Will's life," Castiel said.

Dean tensed, "Cas…"

"No Dean, give me your word"

"Ok"

"Ok?" Castiel said in confusion.

Dean sighed heavily "don't get me wrong when… when it happened, my first thought was to find the nearest crossroads and try to make a deal, but I couldn't".

Seeing Cas's confusion Dean continued, "I can't leave Jo to raise the kids alone and I can't let Adam and Mary grow up without a father, but more importantly if I end up downstairs again I'll never see Will again".

Castiel nodded in understanding, "you've become very mature Dean," he admitted.

Neither one of them said anything for a few moments until Dean broke the silence, "I should go find Jo" he said.

Castiel gave a brief nod. "I shall take care of your son Dean you have my word".

With a flag of his wings Cas was gone before Dean had a change to reply. "Thank you," Dean whispered to the empty sky.


	2. Not my scene

****This story is set before season 1

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**Not my scene**

It was no secret to anyone who met her that Jo Harvell hated collage. She was a freak with a knife collection who didn't fit in anywhere. The only reason Jo attended Stanford was because of her mother who wanted Jo to have a normal life. Today Jo had spent the entire day on the phone to her mother begging her to please let her come home. It had taken some persuading but eventually her mum had agreed but only on the condition that she gave normal school life one last shot. And so this was how Jo found herself in the last place she wanted to be on a Saturday night, at a bar which was hosting a college party.

Although Jo had grown up in a bar she felt incredibly awkward and out of place. The road house usually only played host to the odd hunter and was totally opposite to the club scene which Jo now found herself in. Deciding she should at least have one drink so she could tell her mum she honesty tried, Jo made her way to the bar.

The bartender raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything as Jo ordered a shot of whiskey.

"Are you sure you can handle that?" an amused voice asked from next to her, "most college girls here tonight seem to prefer those fruity drinks with the umbrellas".

Jo turned to look at the man next to her and was taken a little by surprise, this guy was hot. He had short brown hair and beautiful green eyes. He didn't seem like the typical college student either, for one he was wearing a leather jacket.

Jo looked him in the eyes as she downed her shot and signaled the bar tender for another which she downed with ease.

Jo's breath caught as the guy laughed, "wow, sorry for doubting you." The guy took a minute to look Jo up and down before he asked, "can I buy you a drink?"

_Remember the plan_, a little voice said in her head, come, _have one drink, go home and tell mum you tried_. Apparently her mouth had different ideas though because instead of saying sorry I have to go, she said, "sure".

The guy smiled again and ordered two beers from the bartender. He led Jo to a couch further away from the loud music where Jo could hear better.

"I'm Dean," the guy said, sitting rather close to her.

"Jo," Jo answered back with a smile.

"Oh, so do you go to college?"

"Yeah, do you?"

Dean laughed, "god no, not really my scene".

Jo smiled; it looks like she had finally met someone she could get along with. "So if you don't go to college what are you doing here?"

"Well you see I'm directing a reality TV show and…"

Jo's laughter interrupted whatever Dean was going to say.

"What?" Dean asked with a slight frown.

"I grew up in a bar Dean. I've heard just about every line there is, you're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than that".

Dean at least had the sense to look guilty. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "umm I don't know what to say."

Jo smiled, "you could try the truth" she suggested.

Dean threw a mock glare her direction, "ok, since you twisted my arm, I'm in town to see my brother but I err don't really know where he lives. I heard about this party and thought he might be here. I mean this isn't really his thing but it was worth a try."

Before Jo could reply Dean asked, "what about you? I mean, I get the feeling this isn't really your scene either".

Maybe it was Dean's honesty about his brother but for some reason Jo told Dean the truth. "My mum. She thinks I haven't been giving college life a proper try so she wanted me to come to at least one party and try and meet people before I quit college and go home."

Several beers later Jo was feeling the alcohol's effect. By now she was sitting so close to Dean she was practically in his lap. Dean was definitely the coolest person she had met since leaving the roadhouse; he was funny, he had an awesome taste in cars and music, not to mention he was the hottest guy Jo had met in her life. It was no surprise then, when Dean asked if she wanted to get out of here Jo didn't even hesitate before saying yes.

Jo watched Dean carefully as he entered her dorm room, looking for any sign that he was going to take one look at her dorm and decide she was crazy. Most of Jo's knifes and other weapons were stored under her bed with the exception of her dad's knife which was sitting on her desk. She hoped Dean didn't notice but he did.

"Whoa, you're not some kind of psycho killer who makes clothing out of peoples skin are you?"

"Oh, umm , no, that's…" Jo struggled to think of a plausible excuse before realizing Dean wasn't paying any attention to her. His eyes were darting around the room, lingering on the protection symbols above her bed and the salt on the window. Oh great, thought Jo, she couldn't believe she had just met an amazing man and had somehow managed to frighten him off in less than an hour.

Jo was distracted by her thoughts and didn't notice immediately when Dean stepped back and picked up a corner of the rug on the floor.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Jo cried in outrage, but it was too late. Dean had already flipped back the rug to reveal the devils trap underneath.

"You're a hunter," it was a statement, not a question, and it surprised Jo more than anything had in a long time.

"What! How did…"

"Unbelievable!" Dean said, seemingly to himself, "of course I had to pick up a bloody hunter!"

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about," Jo said, figuring denial was probably the best course of action.

"Don't," Dean snapped. He took a deep breath. "Look, it was nice to meet you Jo but I don't think this is a good idea" he said, turning to walk out the door.

"Hey!" Jo said but Dean didn't respond. "Hey!," she called louder, feeling herself get angry. "You do not just get to walk away! How do you know what I am?"

Dean turned around slowly, drawing a knife from inside his jacket as he did so. _How did I miss that?_ Jo thought to herself. "Because Jo," Dean said, "it looks like we're in the same line of business".

Jo had somehow convinced Dean to stay, just to talk.

"So really, why are you here?" she asked.

"I was telling the truth, I'm here to see my brother. It's… complicated but I need his help on a hunt."

"If you need help…"

"No," Dean interrupted. "Look, it's real kind of you to offer but it's a family thing."

"Does your brother want to hunt?" Jo asked.

"Well no, but…"

"Listen Dean, you can't force someone into a life they don't want, trust me I'm an expert on that. I can hunt. Both my parents are hunters and I've been training all my life. I'm leaving tomorrow anyway. If I come with you you'll still have backup without dragging your brother into this. Please Dean, you have no idea how bad I want this".

Jo could tell Dean was seriously considering it.

"Fine," he said, "but I drive and we listen to my music."

Jo's face broke into a massive smile, "thank you!" she said.

Dean laughed awkwardly, "umm that's ok. How are you going to tell your mother?"

Jo groaned. That was defiantly a problem for tomorrow.


	3. I'll call you, regrets, blame

This is a series of extremely short stories that I wrote forever ago and have just been sitting on my computer.

In case it was unclear before each of these stories are unconnected .

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Born under a bad sign: I'll call you

Karma really is a bitch. The situation was so ironic Jo wondered if maybe a trickster was playing some kind of joke on her. It was so typical that after a lifetime spent fending off dunk deadbeats and drunken hunters that the only guy she had ever wanted thought of her as nothing more than a naïve school girl. Sam's words, or rather the words of the demon possessing Sam, had come as a shock. Jo wasn't stupid. She knew that Dean Winchester never has been, and probably never would be a long-term relationship kind of guy, but Jo had to admit she had thought that, under his rough surface, Dean did have some kind of feelings for her. Was it all meaningless? Did all the flirting, the deep discussion they had shared about their fathers and the protectiveness Dean showed in Philadelphia, did it really mean nothing to him? At first Jo thought the demon was lying, after all it was a demon, demons lie. But once the seed of doubt had been planted, Jo could see Dean's actions through new eyes, and they all but confirmed the demons words. "I'll call you," were the last words Jo had ever wanted to hear come from Dean Winchester's mouth, not when they both knew they were nothing but a lie.

Abandon all hope: regrets

Dean's heart felt like it exploded with the hardware store. Two more names were instantly added to the list of people who had died to protect Sam and Dean Winchester; Ellen and Jo Harvell. The truth was Ellen's death shouldn't have come as a big surprise, not many people who live the life of a hunter live to old age, but Ellen had always seemed invincible. She was always there when Sam or Dean needed information. It seemed as though she knew everything, just like Bobby, and if she didn't know chances were she'd find out and call back within ten minutes with the answer. Dean remembered when Zacahariah had messed with his head, made him forget his life and believe he was some dick called Dean Smith. Back then he had believed Ellen was his mother, and in some ways she almost was. Ellen hadn't been the cuddling type, but what hunter was, Ellen was more into tough love, and boy was she tough. Dean's check stung just thinking about the slap he had received in Colorado, _what are you, allergic to giving me piece of mind?, _and he remembered all the tongue-lashings he had received whenever he spoke out of turn. But nothing came close to the tough love Ellen had shown her daughter. Dean would forget the cat-fight of the century that took place at the roadhouse just before the H H Homes case when Ellen had threatened to tie Jo up. The poor tourist family that walked tight into the middle of all that. Ellen Harvell was a true mumma bear and nothing terrified Dean quite as much as being caught between Ellen and Jo when Jo was in danger. Honestly, the thought of what Ellen would have done if he and Sam hadn't found Jo when they did when she went missing in Philadelphia was something Dean would rather never think about. That was the thing that Dean had admired the most about Ellen, when it came to Jo, she would move the stars and the moon if it meant keeping her safe. In the end it had cost Ellen her life. Dean had always hoped that Jo would escape the life of a hunter and that she would go back to school. Jo was too sweet, too innocent, for this life and she had what Dean would have killed for, options. But, as much as he wished it were otherwise he knew it would never have happened. A girl like Jo Harvell didn't belong in school. She didn't deserve to be known as a freak with a knife collection. Jo Harvell was a hunter; it was in her blood as much as it was in his. Dean regretted butting-heads with her over her choice as often as he did. Sometimes he wondered if she didn't stick with the job just to prove she could do it, she was stubborn like that. The truth is Jo Harvell was a mighty fine hunter. But it was too late now; Dean never would have a chance to tell her that. Never again would he hear a song by REO Speedwagon and smile just thinking about her. Never again would he pray to god Ellen wasn't watching when he snuck a look at her ass in those tight jeans she loved to wear. But Dean's biggest regret was that he would never be able to say he was wrong and he was sorry. Dean wasn't stupid. He knew how Jo had felt about him, and in the beginning he had felt it too. All the flirting and things they had shared, none of it was meaningless. But along the way something changed, Dean wasn't sure when it had happened but he had started to see her as a little sister and three years ago in Duluth that was how he had treated her. The truth was she was always so much more than that, but now it was too late. As he remembered the beautiful blonde and her kick-ass mother Dean felt as though he couldn't move, the only this that made him turn around was the memory of his last promise as it echoed through his head. He wouldn't miss.

No exit: blame

It was roughly an hour after the Winchesters had left, maybe for good. Jo was sitting on her bed taking deep breaths and trying to fight her tears. Her father had died hunting with Dean and Sam's father. Truthfully Jo wasn't sure how she was meant to feel about that. She knew that the blame for what had happened rested solely with John Winchester, his sons had nothing to do with it, and yet Jo couldn't help but feel resentful towards them, especially Dean. Perhaps it was Dean's habit of talking about his father as though he was the greatest man to ever walk the planet, or maybe it was the fact that Jo's feelings for Dean had extended well beyond friendship. Whatever the reason Jo didn't know how to feel about him anymore. She had seen the look of hurt and regret on Dean's face as she had walked away from him. She knew she should have said something, told Dean it wasn't his fault, but at the time she couldn't bring herself to say those words. Despite her uncertainty regarding her future with the Winchesters the past few days had confirmed one thing in Jo's mind, she was more determined than ever to follow her father's footsteps and make him proud.


	4. Heaven 2

This story is a continuation from Heaven, the first story in this collection.

Sorry for not uploading in a while, I was busy with school, then exams, then laziness.

I would love to hear from you if you have any prompts for story suggestions :)

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**Heaven 2**

Ellen smiled as she watched her grandson re-enacting his favourite memories. Castiel had shown up at the roadhouse a few moments ago to take Will into his heaven. When Castiel had asked her if she wanted to come along Ellen had jumped at the chance. Partly because she wanted to see the life her baby girl had built for herself and partly because she wasn't ready to be apart from Will.

.

Two year old William Ashlee Winchester was smiling as he sat on the couch, proudly holding his baby sister for the first time. His mother was sitting next to him, showing him how to hold her just right and making sure he didn't drop her. Will thought that was pretty stupid, he would never hurt little Mary. His father had smiled and said he was proud of him just hours ago when Will declared he was going to be the best big brother ever (way better than Adam would be) and he would always look out for his little sister. Speaking of his father, Dean just entered the living room carrying a laughing Adam on his back.

"Hey! There's my two favourite girls and my other boy!" Dean said happily, bending his knees and letting Adam off his back. Dean sat himself down on the other side of William, leaning over him to place a quick kiss on Jo's lips before pulling Adam up onto his lap.

Unbeknownst to the happy family Uncle Sammy had chosen that moment to enter the room and couldn't resist snapping a picture, capturing the moment forever.

.

The scene changed and Ellen suddenly found herself sitting in the backseat of Dean's Impala.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jo asked from the front seat. The Winchester family were currently on their way to Uncle Bobby's.

"Of course it is," Dean said sounding sure of himself.

Jo shifted uncomfortably as she readjusted the cage on her lap, "but Bobby said…"

"I know what Bobby said babe, but trust me he didn't mean it," Dean smiled confidently.

"What the hell were you thinking boy?" Bobby hissed at Dean just out of the twin's earshot.

Dean hesitated for a moment, "well, Jo thought…"

"Oh no you don't," Jo interrupted, stepping forwards with Mary on her hip, "I told him it was a bad idea".

"I specifically told you that I didn't want it," Bobby said.

"Well… yeah… but you didn't mean it?" Dean said smiling awkwardly.

The three adult looked over to where Will and Adam were playing with the puppy Dean had insisted on buying Bobby for Christmas. The boys were playing keepings off with a pair of Bobby's socks and laughing and the dog ran around in circles barking.

"Look Bobby, the boys obviously like the dog, if you don't want to keep him we'll just take him home with us," Jo said, ignoring the frantic way Dean was shaking his head.

Bobby looked over at the dog again and his face seemed to soften, "well it was been a while since Rumsfeld passed and he doesn't seem _too_ bad".

"_Told you so_," Dean mouthed to Jo who glared playfully and rolled her eyes in response.

"Uncle Bobby, Uncle Bobby," Adam and Will called out together.

"Yeah boys?" Bobby asked as the boys came running over.

"What are you goings to call him?" Adam asked excitedly.

Bobby threw a smug look in Dean's direction, "you know what boys I have the perfect name, I'm going to call him Dean".

"Hey!" Dean protested, but it was too late the boys had already ran off laughing.

"Dean! Here boy!" Will called out, causing his mother to explode with laughter.

"That'll teach you for not listening to me boy," Bobby snapped walking away, but Dean could see he was smiling.

"See, I told you he wanted it," Dean said, wrapping his arms around his wife and daughter.

"Yeah, yeah, you did good ok," Jo admitted.

Dean gently kissed the top of the head, "yeah, I did".

.

The scene changed again and Ellen found herself standing in a children's playground.

It was Adam and Will's third birthday and the whole family had met at the park to celebrate. Even Uncle Sammy and Uncle Bobby were there.

"But Saaaam, it's not fair! You and daddy are brothers and you don't have to share birthdays" Adam complained loudly to his Uncle Sam.

Will glared unhappily at his twin brother. Noticing his soccer ball lying in the grass he quickly took aim at his brother's head and kicked with all his strength. Unfortunately Will didn't have a very accurate kick.

"Ooff," Uncle Sammy made a gruntish sound as the ball connected with his head.

As Will looked on, horrified at hurting his uncle, a loud laughing erupted behind him. "Kid, that was awesome!" his dad said with a huge grin on his face.

"Dean!" his mother scolded, "he could have hit Adam! Come here Will!"

Tears welled up in Will's eyes as he made his way over to him mum. First Adam was mean, then he had accidently hurt Uncle Sammy and now he was in trouble; this was the worst birthday ever!

"Will," his mum said, "why did you try to hurt your brother?"

Will looked to his dad for support but Dean was wearing his serious face which told Will he was on his own.

"Adam was mean," Will mumbled, "he said he didn't want to share his birthday with me".

Jo's face softened as her little boy's lip trembled, more tears threatening to spill. She and Dean gave each other a meaningful look and it seemed as if they came to an understanding as Dean scooped Will up into his arms and sat the two of them down at a picnic table. Jo positioned herself beside them.

Dean rubbed calming circles against his son's back. "You know that isn't a good enough reason to hurt anyone right Will?" he asked gently.

Will buried his head into Dean's chest but gave a small nod.

"Hey, it's ok buddy. You know when Sam and I were young he never use to share with me".

"Really?" Will looked up, listening to his father.

"It's true, he'd never share his toys, he'd freak out whenever I touched his books and he would always have to get the last bowl of cereal, but do you know what? Not matter how often we fought we still loved each other more than anything".

"You still love your brother right?" Dean asked his son. Will nodded. "And you know Adam loves you?" Again will nodded.

Dean looked up at met Jo's eyes, she smiled warmly at him. Dean gave her a small smile in return and turned his attention to his brother and other son. Judging by the guilty look and Adam's face Sam had giving him a talking to.

Dean gave Will a small hug. "So kid, I've got an idea. You need to go and apologise to Uncle Sam, how about when you're done we have a game of soccer, me and you against Adam and Sam, how does that sound?"

A large grin spread across Will's face before he ran off towards his uncle.

Jo gave her husband a tight hug. "I love you," she whispered affectionately.

"I love you too," Dean said smiling.

The rest of the day was spent with Will, Adam, Sam and Dean playing soccer while Jo, Bobby and Mary watched on. Will laughed as Adam saved a goal by tackling their dad so hard they both fell to the ground. They didn't keep score but by the time they had finished and were on their way home in the Impala, Will was pretty sure his team had won.

.

The memory changed again and Ellen found herself standing in Bobby's living room with a much younger Will and an older man dressed in red. Ellen couldn't help but laugh as she recognised the man as Bobby himself, wearing a Santa costume.

"Ho, ho, ho," he said gruffly from his position on the couch. Will didn't seem to notice the distinct lack of Christmas cheer coming from the older man as he climbed up onto Bobby's lap hugging him tightly.

Dean walked into the room carrying a tray of Christmas cookies in one hand and a half eaten cookie in the other. He laughed at the sight before him. "Stay right there," he said, throwing a slight smirk at Bobby. Dean left the room only to come back moments later followed by Jo who was carrying Adam.

Without saying anything Jo sat herself on the couch beside Bobby and positioned Adam so he was facing Dean.

"Hey! What are you doing?... No!" Bobby objected as Dean pulled out a camera.

"Smile," Dean said in a voice that was too cheery to be anything other than mocking. Jo, Adam and Will smiled brightly and with Will sitting on his lap, Bobby had no choice but to sit still and allow the photo to be taken.

Dean grinned as he looked at the picture on the display screen. "Well isn't this just darling! I wonder who I should send it to first. Sam will want to see it, Rufus too, I should sent Garth a copy…" Dean grinned at Bobby.

Bobby picked Will up and deposited him on the ground with a huff. "Boy! You give me that camera!" The two men took off running about the house.

Jo smiled and shook her head in amusement. Gently she kissed each of her sons on the head, Merry Christmas."

.

The scene changed for a final time and Ellen found herself back at the roadhouse with Bill, Ash and Will. Bill and Ash looked up from the card game they were playing.

"Hey buddy, how was it?" Bill asked.

Will looked up at Ellen, his green eyes filled with tears. "I miss them," he said.

Ellen hugged Will tightly. "Oh baby, me too."


End file.
